Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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