I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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