i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize