you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Let's paint friendship bongs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
