We're like a lot better than the average bears
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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