I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize