He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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