sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Randomize
