do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
