sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
