Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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