Will you blow on my dice?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
