As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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