So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
