just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
