So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
