i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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