I don't think brook has ever known best
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
