WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize