Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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