i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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