I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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