oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
