walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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