i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
