next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
