now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
