The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
