whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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