wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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