"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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