so let's talk penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize