So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
