Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
