I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
