he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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