I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
