My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
