You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm really into asian looking animals
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
