More tranny stories later!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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