Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
