I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize