we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
