Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
