he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I want a musical about memes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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