i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
