I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I smell stomach acid.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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