she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
