Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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