I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
