I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
