Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i barfeds in our rink
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
