i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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