Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize