The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize