I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
