I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
