oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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