I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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