Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize