I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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