my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
