oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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