That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize