Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
