Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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