We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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