with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize