so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
