lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
