if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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