I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
