I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
