i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
