Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
two words: eviction party
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize