I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm really busy with my period
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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