The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
