i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
