Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
